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Monday, April 17, 2017

When Insults Had Class

*There was a time when words were used beautifully.*

*These glorious insults and a witty response takes the bitterness away.*

*Even makes it enjoyable to the reader !!*

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison!!"
and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd take it."

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Gladstone, a Member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, sir", said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies, or your mistress."

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"He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

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"He has never been known to use a word, that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend . . . if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second . . . ,
if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.

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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope, it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

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"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts .. . . for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang

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